Don’t Rush Bedtime
I was scrolling through Ryan Holiday’s Instagram during my lunch break. It was 45 minutes to break up the five-hour virtual Admin Meeting we had today. I just wanted to enjoy my leftover wings and baked ziti and shut my mind off before embarking on the last two and a half hours of our meeting. Unfortunately, if you know Ryan, author of The Daily Stoic, his IG is probably not the one to peruse if you’re looking to not think.
I came across a post where Ryan said, during bedtime, imagine that your kids may not live through the night. Of course, as I read this, my face shriveled, eyebrows furrowed, and thought to myself, “C’mon, this guy is insane! I’m not putting that vibe out into the world!” I swiftly went back to my feed and mindlessly watched cute puppies sliding on ice.
The dilemma I had was that Ryan Holiday had won. His post did exactly what it was intended to, to get me thinking. I quickly went back and reread that statement, as well as his explanation behind it. Ryan went on to explain how he understands how many individuals would take offense to this statement, but, he feels it is not untrue to think like this and very powerful. He explained we need to embrace what exactly this statement enforces us to do.
By us acting on Ryan’s statement, it forces us to enjoy the bedtime routine with our children. In reality, many of us, me included, are guilty of rushing through the tucking in, wishing goodnight, and getting on with the evening to have some “me” or “we” time. As my kids have aged, they’re 13 and 10 now, I have done all I can to get that coveted couch time with my wife.
For the rest of my day, this theory of how to approach bedtime swirled around in my head. Mainly, not the thought of imagining it was my last night with my children, but the fact that how many times have I gotten frustrated, argumentative, and then pleading with my two beautiful kids to just get in bed, clothes their eyes, and go to sleep. I vowed that this night would be different. I wasn’t going to rush through bedtime with my kids. I was going to enjoy our time together.
As my son seemed to begin his barrage of a million questions, as he does each night to stall, I answered the first few. I knew that it wouldn’t stop, and as much as I didn’t want to rush bedtime tonight, I couldn’t just keep answering. We got him tucked in, said all of his goodnights, gave him a kiss, and assured him that everything would go well tomorrow. You see, he began his second semester of school today, and tomorrow he would have Gym. He was worried about having to change, not being able to work the locker, and just not being as good at the activities as his peers. We let him know that we have already got a plan in place with his Teacher of Record and that if there were any issues we would reach out to her to make sure things went smooth for him. For the first time, in a long time, as I left his room he wore the hugest smile across his face. He appeared at ease knowing that we were going to ensure he was comfortable and successful in Gym.
My daughter doesn’t seem to have any issues falling asleep, but I still made sure to enjoy the routines she puts me through each night rather than act annoyed with them. Checking her closet, putting sleep oils on her, and then finally kissing her forehead and telling her, “I love you!” felt real tonight and not just a task checked off.
After I eventually got my “couch time” I wondered what was the point of ever rushing these routines that my children cherish? A few extra minutes of Netflix? Checking my emails? Scrolling social media? These are all meaningless and do not outweigh the time I have with my kids. As each day passes I know the night will eventually come when they don’t want or need these routines. I dread that day, so why would I not embrace and own these nights now?
I never thought to myself, “What if this is my kids’ last night?” but, if it wasn’t for reading that earlier I never would have shifted my mindset regarding bedtime in the Earnshaw household. I encourage you, to slow down and cherish these times we have with one another today because we never know when they’ll be gone.
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