My Friends Look Out For Me Like Family
Growing up I never truly felt like I belonged. I had friends, we hung out, had good times, but I always felt like an outcast.
Sports were out of the question. I tried baseball. T-ball in kindergarten, did ok until coach pitch began. 1st grade I played Little League. I can sum up that season with a comment from one of the umpires. I was trembling as I approached home plate, mentally preparing myself for my best statue impersonation while a 6-year-old through fire towards me, just like when Mario gets a hold of the orange flower. As I creepily began to take my position, secretly wishing that my sloth-like movements would take so long the game got called, the umpire shockingly eyes me as if I'm an all-star and bellows, “Aren’t you the kid that always gets hit?” Yes, that’s me, would you like me to autograph this ball that’s about to impact my shoulder? My parents believed in my baseball career so much they signed me up for T-ball in second grade. Yes, a second grader playing T-ball with Kindergarten students. Yes, I again hit off the T the first half of the season and yes, again, I could not hit off the coach.
I was smart, but not smart enough for the advanced classes. I was right in the middle of the mix. Most of my classes were made up of you guessed it, athletes. Nothing against them, but we just didn’t relate and once conversations began about sports, uuuggghhh...
Drama? Nope. If you looked up “Stage Fright” in a dictionary I’d be there sharing a smile from ear to ear and a big “Thumbs up!”
There were always two things I could rely on after going through each day of middle school like this: my skateboard and punk rock music.
Skating and punk always elevated me to another place. I could be myself, express myself in my way, and put a genuine smile on my face. If it wasn’t for skateboarding and punk rock bands like Rancid, Voodoo Glow Skulls, NOFX, and Progagandhi, I would not be who I am today.
High school was when things began to turn around. I was finally in a melting pot with so many more personalities and individuals than what my small middle school provided. I was able to find a crew that felt like me. We were able to bond together for hours in an empty parking lot, grinding over and over on that waxed up parking block, or kickflipping over the small set of cracked stairs connecting the neighboring paint store lot.
Once we hit 16, yep, driving! There wasn’t a Friday or Saturday night where we weren’t at a punk show in a neighboring town or Chicago! The camaraderie was strong and when we entered the venue for the night we all knew that nothing or nobody could take away the sweat, tears, and memories we were creating.
This crew was more than a group we went to shows with. If someone needed a ride to work or home, we dropped what we were doing and got them there. Someone was short on cash? No worries, I’ll cover your Taco Bell this time, you get mine next. Relationship problems? I’ll be there in 10 and we’ll go grab some new music and cruise around. Need a place to crash for the night? Don’t worry, my couch is always open. We looked out for each other like family. We had our core circle of friends, and it extended out to the world just as a family tree does.
Education is no different. No matter what your role is, you need a crew, or as we now call it, a PLN, Professional Learning Network. No one person has all the answers. No one person is an expert in every field or situation that arises in education. No one person can give their all for kids every single day and not start to get stressed out or have a strain on their heart from the stories and lives that many of our students are now coming to us with.
If you are an educator that “clocks” in from 8-3, eats by yourself, doesn’t lean on colleagues for advice and/or support or offer any to the whole, chances are you will have a miserable career and may not even stay in it. We are all in this game for the same reason, to better the lives of our children, to bring them confidence, to help them realize their own strengths, and to set goals to help others and change the world. We cannot do this alone. We must unite and help each other along the way.
Here’s some tips and tricks to build your PLN and help you along your journey:
1. Get to school 10 minutes earlier than normal or stay 10 minutes later. Don’t just hunker down in your classroom or office. Walk around, see who else is in the building and strike up a conversation. Talk about school, your successes and struggles this year. Talk about life. Build a relationship. Relationships are key to changing lives.
2. In meetings when it’s time to collaborate, do not team up with those you always work with and socialize with. Find that colleague you give a smile to every day but never have truly gotten to know. Work with others that are not directly tied to your specialty. Administrators, assign groups, just as teachers do for students. One technique I do is pass out a playing card to every staff member as they enter a meeting. We then pair up by numbers, suits, or colors.
3. Get connected on social media! Believe it or not, there are educators across the world looking for support and excited to provide some! By working with others not directly in our circle gets us fresh ideas, new perspectives, and a reinvigorating push we sometimes desperately need. It wasn’t until I fully embraced Twitter that I grew as an educator, leader, and individual. I have met so many amazing people and built true, strong friendships. I know that I could not do this without their support. We all have amazing strengths and stories to share, tell them before someone else does.
Embrace the strengths you hold. When a member of your crew, your PLN, is struggling in that arena, help them out. When someone is down, pick them back up. Iron sharpens iron, we are stronger together. Education is not about egos. This game isn’t for us, it’s for our children and for all our futures. If we truly want to create a better world we must unite and fight the good fight together.
